A Very Vegas Story

Last weekend [edit, okay, so I started writing this like three weeks ago, but guess what, life happens.  Well, mostly, my job happened and ruined my life, so I am just now posting.  DEAL] I went to VEGAS for the first time for my little sister’s bachelorette party.  I feel the need to capitalize VEGAS every time, because that’s how you say it.  VEGASSSSSSS.  Big and bold, just like the city.

Sidenote:  The weekend itself was fabulous, but was bookended by two of the WORST, TERRIBLE, HORRIBLE flying experiences I have ever had.  And I’ve been on 16 hours flights with ASIAN airline food.  So that’s saying something.  I’ll save those stories for the next post, because they are just THAT phenomnerrible.  New word, use it.

So we check into our lovely hotel, The Monte Carlo.

I immediately notice that the casino a) has a mall food court and b) this court contains Starbucks, Sbarro, and McDonald's.  All I need for a successful, well-balanced weekend.

Our first stop on this whirlwind extravaganza is the Wynn Hotel for a show.

That's a whole lotta Fokkens.  Vegas beware!

 We had tickets to see La Reve, which is like Cirque de Soilel with water.  

People jumped into this from like 1,000 feet up.  I think there was a story, but I was distracted by the dudes in latex swim wear.  

Then we gambled a bit.  I won $6 and called it a night.  I know how to quit when I am a head.  After we won at the Wynn, we headed towards Caesar’s Palace.  Yes, THE Caesar’s Palace.  He actually lived there.

He's telling us about the bitchin pool out back.

Needless to say The Hangover quotes were frequent throughout the whole weekend.  You just have to.

(There should be a video here, but I am not that advanced yet!)

Saturday morning was a life of luxury, laying by the pool and enjoying $13 frozen drinks.  $13!!  Holy balls.  We definitely adapted a share-and-share alike policy, chipping in to buy the refills for all to share.  I only got in the lazy river for a few minutes, because I am pretty sure that all VEGAS pools are nothing but toilets for drunken co-eds.  Even at 11 o’clock in the morning. 

Trust me, the shady side is where it's at.  Mostly because the sunny side is the toilet.

After my glamorous lunch at Sbarro, Stowell-cousin D-Pain and I left to actually SEE this VEGAS Strip that everyone kept talking about.  We wandered around in the 105 degree heat, bought some tacky souvenirs, and lost $1 at The Luxor.  I’m a high roller.

Danielle loves VEGAS' lack of open container law.

After showering and waiting to use the bathroom since there were 5 girls trying to get ready (oh, the horror!)  We had a lovely dinner at Diablo, a Mexican restaurant trying to be Coyote Ugly.  But the food was phe-nom, so whatevs.

Tally says my zigzag part was sooooo 2001.  

Then we played some bachelorette games, which will go unmentioned, because that’s between a girl and her friends.  Although it did involve my sister putting on 8 pairs of underwear.  VISUAL.  As for what happens next, it involves drinking, pole dancing, gambling, and walking A LOT.  Here are the best pics of the night:

There would be more, but apparently Delta’s crack baggage handlers decided to dig through my suitcase and steal my camera.  Seriously.  That was strike 245 against Delta.  More on that later.

So, overall, it was a great weekend.  Tal had a lot of fun, and so did I.  The End. 

Except for later when I tell you all about Delta.  It gets ugly.

Here's one last picture of D-Pain:

You don't have time for her ILLUSIONS.