Anatomy of a Fight

This being an educational blog and all, I thought I’d give you a lesson on the Anatomy of a Fight.  This is a glimpse into the world of a newly married couple, one of whom is an OCD Control Freak who cannot compromise or admit fault and the other who is a generally calm person who rationally sees the situation.  I don’t think I need to put labels on who is who.

Anatomy of a Fight:

Me—Notice something slightly out of place, like a belt on the couch or a dish in the bedroom.  Sarcastically mention this to K.

K—Apologizes and goes to rectify gets the offending item.

Me—Refuse to let K do it, insist that I will do it since I do EVERYTHING.  (Usually, a dramatic eye roll is inserted here for effect).

K—Tries to diffuse the situation with a variety of tactics.

Me—Realize that I am probably wrong, but commence to freak out to K about why I always have to do everything.  This can also include bringing up pointless evidence from past offenses.  Clearly, grasping at straws to win the argument, 

K—Rationally lists all the things he DOES do around the house, rendering my argument null and void.

Me—Inwardly realize that I am totally wrong, outwardly burst into the flames of a complete meltdown.

K—Cuddles me and apologizes for being a jerk that never cleans up and never does anything.

Me—Accepts his apology, but still pouts for the next 3 hours.

So even though I am basically wrong in about 90% of the fights, I have yet to lose.  This is because K loves me and knows that me losing = firebolts of death.  So he throws himself under the bus.  That, my friends, is love.  In my defense, I have gotten better about not instigating the fights, and have been known to apologize once or twice.  It’s called PROGRESS.