Flickr

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

NEW FAVORITE EYELINER

OMG, folks. This is big. Makeup costs like, gajillions for the good stuff. I used to be a Clinique snob, back when I was single and had a great job and like zero bills. Back when my share of the rent/utilities was only $400/month. Eff. Now I am married with a mortgage that costs me $1100/month, WITHOUT ComEd and Comcast having their way with me. So I've had to learn to curb my expensive tastes. Target shoes, LOVE THEM. Bye bye Gap, helloooooo Old Navy. No more Clinique counter, welcome to Walgreens. But I have struggled to find a good eyeliner. I know, I know, what troubles I have. Anyway, the other day at Tar-jay, I found this product that cost $1.00. I was all, okay, this is cheaper than that N.Y.C. crap they used to carry, so there is no way it is good. But I had $1.50 to spend, so E.L.F. is was.

OMG.

This stuff is FANTASTIC. It goes on smooth, does not smudge (unless you want it too), and comes off easily with soap and water. Which were the top three complaints of the last three brands I tried. I. AM. IN. LOVE. So I went to their website (eyelipsface) and it's like the Dollar Store for classy people!

Moral of the Story: Just cause you got bills don't mean you gotta look like crap. Word.

Anal-Retentive Me

I have a confession to make. I am slightly OCD. Those of you who know me just burst out laughing. Because that is the worst keep secret ever. Case in point, today:

I use the booknerd site http://www.goodreads.com/ to keep track of the books I have read and reviews and what other people are reading. Today I discovered that when I first joined and added all the books I had read prior to joining, it did not record a "Date Read" for those. The ones I have added afterwards all have the date that I changed the status from "Currently Reading" to "Read." The rest are blanks. I CANNOT HAVE THIS.

So I will spend many many hours this week going back and adding a relatively accurate "Date Read" for about 175 books. BECAUSE I HAVE TO.

And yes, sometimes I do weep for myself.

Stay Tuned.....

This weekend was epic--like Vegas epic. Pics and the story about the worst airline experience I have ever had (and considering that I used to regularly fly 18 hours ACROSS the Pacific Ocean, that is saying a lot). Let's just say it involves massive delays and a greaser sexting 3 different girls DURING THE FLIGHT, and me thinking he was going to crash our plane.

Good times.

Most of you know that I love to read. It’s a sickness, but if I do not have at least three books piled up on my nightstand, I don’t feel right. Like now. I just finished some marathon reads and currently have nothing but a book about getting your body ready for baby (more on that absurdity later…).

So what have I been reading this summer? Mostly good stuff, but a few duds. None so bad that I stopped reading, however. I have one rule, and that is that I do not waste my life reading books I do not like. If you don’t have me a couple chapters in, I’ll probably kick you to the curb. No offense, but life is short and there are millions of books out there just waiting to be read by me.

This one was good, in the holy hell that stuff really happened sort of way. I love books from the Age of Discovery, because it seems like we know so much about our world these days. I mean, I know scientists are still discovering new species and new theorems and crap like that, but these dudes did not even have MAPS. NO MAPS. to tell them what was where. I can't even imagine being on a ship and just plugging along when "Oh look, land. That's neat. We didn't know THAT was there. Hope we don't fall off the end of the world here!" But then Magellan got that whole machete to the face in the Philippines, so that really didn't end to well for him. But for the 16 men who actually made it back to Spain, hey! Great job!

What can I say...it's summer and sometimes I need a book that's quick and easy. That's what she said. PS, can you totally tell where I stole my book photos from?

If you like Stephen King's THE STAND, you'll like this. Actually, this one is a little more readable than The Stand was....not quite as complicated. It does span about 200 years of time, but there are minimal characters to remember and it moves quickly. Don't let the 784 pages scare you. This is by far my favorite book of the summer so far.

For some reason I am all about the pirate novels this summer. Magellan counts, because he totally did some pirate-y things during his trip. This is the novel that was found on Michael Crichton's computer after his death. I owed it to he-who-gave-me-Jurassic-Park to read it. It was good. It's nice, summer fluff, perfect for the beach. Or in Chicago, my crappy condo pool with the constant creepers hanging out.

I want to watch Jurassic Park, like now.

Anyway, books that I am looking forward to reading:

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, because everyone is doing it.

Empire of Blue Water: Captain Morgan's Great Pirate Army, The Epic Battle for The Americas, And the Catastrophe that Ended the Outlaw's Reign, because I loves me some pirate novels, and this is quite possibly the longest book title I have ever seen.

The Life of Pi, because everyone has already done it except me.

I am always open to book suggestions, feel free to share what you are reading! Also, if you are on Goodreads, add me as a friend! It's like Facebook for book nerds.

I love Jurassic Park. Just thought I'd end with that.

SHARK WEEK, OooHaaHaa

Sorry I have not blogged this week, but as you all know, it is OMGSHARKWEEK, so that’s what I’ve been doing every night after work. I’ve been learning valuable information about the migration patterns of lemon sharks (lame), learning how to survive a shark attack in different situations (mental note, no deep sea fishing on a boat that is going to explode and throw you into shark infested waters), and most importantly, watching 36435457.5 hours of great whites leaping out of the water cause they are BADASS like that.

Heeeeey there. You got a chumsicle on you? Cause I'll totally trade you my snack pack for a chumsicle. Or I'll just eat you and then I get both. Your call.

Plus, I’ve been researching different recipes for chumsicles. Which is my favorite word in the world. CHUMSICLE. Just saying it makes me giddy.

I promise there will be like a real post soon, like tomorrow soon. Till then, SHARKWEEKCHUMSICLEYEAH!

Sunday Musings

*Note: This was written on Sunday, but due to ComEd sucking, could not be posted until today!

I love lazy Sundays. Today, K is at the White Sox game with his uncle, leaving me to my own devices in the house all day. I love the ability to do whatever I want without interruption!

Accomplishments:
* Alphabetized all our DVDs. Because we all know how I get when things get OUT OF ORDER.

Look at that orderliness. Need a DVD? I can find it in 2.7 seconds.

* Swept the whole house. Hardwood floors--so nice to look at, but a pain in the ass since to sweep EVERY FLIPPIN DAY.

Here lurks the dust bunnies. Today I was the winner. Standings: Me-1, DB-7

*DUSTED for the first time in months (gross, right?). You'd think and OCD-prodigy like me would do this more often, but no, not so much. I even dusted the dvd's, after the were properly ordered.

Seriously. I married this level of cleanliness?

*Pulled out my binder of recipes and weeded out those that I will never make. Which reminds me that I need to remember not to re-order Rachael Ray's magazine....wayyy to many ingredients in her dishes.

No, I do not have time to chop 10 different kinds of onion for your dish.

*Planned out meals for the next two weeks--this helps so much in saving on groceries!

This is what my Sunday looks like. Jealous much?

*Watched about 7.5 hours of HGTV--OMG the things I want to do to the place now!

No picture, because THIS happened:

FML, our power just browned out. NOW HOW WILL I KNOW WHAT HOUSE THE COUPLE BUYS ON HOUSE HUNTERS INTERNATIONAL?!?!

And apparently at ComEd, the policy is to make us wait 2 hours before calling them back and then they will TRY to get someone out to us, since, you know, its Sunday and the power gods just don't DO Sundays. So I will sit and steam in the 80+ weather with no air and no fans till K gets home and takes me to Dairy Queen. At least I still have the sweet, sweet Internet.

OMG. WHAT ABOUT SHARK WEEK?

Post Note: I missed Day 1 of Shark Week because of this. I might die. Luckily the kids working at Jersey Mike's Sub Shop are also shark-obsessed, because they turned the channel so I could see a few minutes of my sweet babies. Thanks for being Awesome with a capital A, Jersey Mike's employees.

Blogger See, Blogger Do

Blogity blog blog HEY! Guess what, Easley (my one and only follower)—I am going to start blogging regularly. This dramatic turn of events comes courtesy of A) me finally having the desire to share my thoughts with the Internet and B) me needing another activity to justify NOT using the $2,000 elliptical that K and I bought last year.

I HAVE THOUGHTS. Usually they are inappropriate and slightly rude, so I figure the Internet is the best place to share them. Up first is a tragic, horrifying tale:

I HAVE A FRECKLE MOUSTACHE.

It’s true. Apparently the Stowell genes gave me many fabulous traits, such as oversized boobs, the propensity to sneeze when I eat too much sugar, and freckle patches above my lips that tan to a nice brown moustache in the summer.

EXHIBIT A:



YOU SEE! In all pictures I appear to be sporting a day’s growth of nice, bushy ‘stache. It is NOT hair, people! I’ve NAIRed the crap out of my face in desperate attempt to be rid of this plague, but to no avail. These babies are SKIN. I need a dermatological cream that will force these patches to part ways with my upper lip. Too bad MJ is gone; I bet he’d know a great skin lightener to combat this problem. Oh, what, too soon?

The worst part is that the tanner I get, the WORSE this gets. Everyone looks better tan; this is true for me from the neck down. Cause from the neck up, NO GO. I look more and more like my Great-Aunt Mildred who actually HAD a moustache. (Disclaimer, I do not actually have a great aunt Mildred—that was a theatrical device used to illustrate my point that I look like a eighty-five year old woman that kids hate to receive kisses from).

The only saving grace is that my sister suffers the same affliction, so at least I won’t be the only creepshow at the family reunions.

We all have our cross to bear....mine just happens to appear in EVERY PHOTO I TAKE. Go ahead, get on Facebook and see. DISGUSTING.

E.Pain

PS, I used to be a really good blogger, back when it was called LiveJournal and I was trying to be emo. Good Lord, I bet those posts are still lurking somewhere in Internet land. That can't be good.

I promise......

...that I will actually starting blogging again soon. Just for you, Liz!

Wow. I am a good blogger. Like really really ridiculously good.